I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
