those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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