The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Drunk is not a location!
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize