You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
