i may or may not be watching the land before time
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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