i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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