last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
