Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
