honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
