Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
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