I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
that is very illegal...i love you.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
