He asked to "fluff my boner.."
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
