i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
