Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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