i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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