I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
