You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
