Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
