I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
