I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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