never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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