I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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