Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
