Whod you bang
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
