It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
