if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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