Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We left an ass print on the piano.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
