Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
