I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
