Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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