Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
