these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
