why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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