He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
