We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
