why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
My vagina is very pro this idea
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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