OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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