so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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