shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
