Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
