I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
