I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
