Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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