i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
