Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
