Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Randomize
