My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
