If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
