This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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