My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
